If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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