If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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