Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The air taste purple.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
