shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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