Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
