Soap is not a condiment
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
