it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
