Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
