I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So. Much. Porn.
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