Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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