i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize