we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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