So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
