When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize