With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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