I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my sisters under your porch take her home
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
