thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
