She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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