She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
