If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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