She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
