the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
