fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
the raccoons are back...
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