Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
