3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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