Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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