Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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