just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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