so that wasnt chicken after all
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
