So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
