Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
