I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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