She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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