Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.

(260): View more from Indiana

Good luck with that.

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(317): View more from Indiana

You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

(347): View more from New York

Something to remember me by.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.

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(269): View more from Michigan

We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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(419): View more from Ohio

He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.

(308): View more from Nebraska

The strangest confirmation message ever sent.

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