put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
