They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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