there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
