Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize