Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
