I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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