Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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