If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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