i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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