Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You pole danced in your parka.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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