I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
