YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
