How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
