the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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