Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Jerry, you need to find god
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
