Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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