it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
