Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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