Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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