Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
