So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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