I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
