Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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