Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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