I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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