Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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