So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
