I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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